Introducing gender identity in early childhood- Supportive children’s gender education book for all age group
Introducing gender identity in early
childhood- Supportive children’s gender education book for all age group
Gender definition is highly influenced by the culture, religion and the
surrounding we belong to, children are hugely influenced by their family values
when it comes to gender identity.
There are many questions which come
to our mind when we think of this sensitive issue of introduction of gender to
our children. Let us see the questions one by one
Raising concern of cross-gender- As a parent, my
greatest fear was to make my child recognize who she is. No, I am not against
her choices but it is my responsibility to introduce her to the parameters
which define gender. I know, you as a parent sometimes had this dreadful
feeling of how will your child cope up with his or her gender. Remember we are
not trying to impose something on our kid, we are just educating them about
what they should know and understand at a very early age.
At what age do we talk to them about
their gender- Gender identification comes to children when they are infants. The
development of gender understanding gears up with every passing age. In this
way, you can say that gender identity in children is a process that matures
with time. For an infant, she/he is focused on the parents and observe their
actions.
With the age of 2-3 comes the input from other family members, and they
are also supplied with toys according to their gender.
At the age of 3-4, the process will be more rigid when they will start
associating physical features with gender. For example, dad has a beard and mom
don’t, so in that way, they will associate dad as a boy and mom as a girl. In
this age they are just learning to be independent by their thoughts therefore,
it is considered to be a delicate issue at this time.
With the age of 5-7, they are more matured to the gender identity
process and have their own input to the same. At this age, the children are
fetching inputs from their environment at home, school, friends and other
interest groups.
How to build their gender
consciousness through role models- Setting up a role model for your child will
help you develop their gender identity with consciousness and live example.
Normally young boys consider their father as their role model. They tend to
exercise everything that his father does. He takes pride in his father’s
achievements, possession and everyday life activity.
Same happens with a girl, she is more likely to grow up like her mother.
When she sees her mother doing her cores the child, she also wants to take
pride in her mother’s work and being. Therefore, it becomes easy to explain to
our children their role that comes with their gender.
What role do parents play in creating
gender recognition- Parents are the gateway for a child to the world. They
show the world to the children their way. So, parents play the most important
role while shaping a child’s gender identity.
As a parent what should not bother you
I have heard many parents talking to their children about their gender
in a negative manner. For example, why you are taking pink? It’s a girl thing!
Don’t jump like a boy! So all these statements don’t really associate with
gender. There is no evidence that only a boy can play with cars and girls can
cook. There are examples set you both the genders who are good athlete, car
racer, cook, pilot and many more. So if your boy likes to play with a kitchen
set, don’t restrict him!
So what we can do as a parent
- Talk to them about the good deeds of their parents and grandparents and you will find they will pick up their own role model gradually.
- Participate in pretend play and make then understand the duty of a mother a father and others in a family.
- Read a lot with your children and answer their questions which they might raise for gender identity.
- Encourage healthy talks and keep a check on gender bullying. See if your child says, you are a girl you can’t play with us or pink is only for girls why James is wearing a pink shirt?
Gender bullying can be negative on a child’s gender-related abilities
and thus lose confidence in his/her gender. They will be under constant fear
that girls cannot do this and boys cannot do that.
We understand the pain when our children take up different choices in
life, but as parents, we must be supportive of their decision if they really
mean it. We have seen many cases when such different kids are not supported by
their parents and the result is:
- Exploitation by others
- Low self-confidence
- Continuous inner fight
- Zero socialization
As parents, it is our duty to introduce our kids with the
responsibilities that come with their gender and set the reference of father or
mother and place them as a role model whom the kid wants to become like when he
or she grows up to an adult.
List of books that might help you
introduce your child to gender identity
- A Fire Engine for Ruthie. Newman, L. (Ages 2–5)
- Of Course, They Do! Boys and Girls Can Do Anything. Roger, M.-S, Sol, A., & Jelidi, N. (Ages 2–5)
- The Story of Ferdinand. Leaf, M., & Lawson, R. (Ages 3–5)
- Who Has What? All About Girls’ Bodies and Boys’ Bodies. Harris, R. H., & Westcott, N. B. (Ages 3–7).
- Amazing Grace. Hoffman, M. (Ages 4 and up).
- Ballerino Nate. Bradley, K. B., & Alley, R. W. (Ages 4 and up)
- Jacob’s New Dress. Hoffman, S., Hoffman, I., & Case, C. (Ages 4–8).
- Kate and the Beanstalk. Osborne, M. P., & Potter, G. (Ages 4–8)
- My Princess Boy. Kilodavis, C., & DeSimone, S. (Ages 4–8)
- The Paper Bag Princess. Munsch, R. (Ages 4 and up).
- The Princess Knight. Funke, C. (Ages 4–7)
- Red: A Crayon’s Story. Hall, M. (Ages 4–8).
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